We all know that you need to make a great impression if you want dating success. As a dating coach, I always teach that.
There is something that is equally or even more important than that, and that is to make the other person feel comfortable. You MUST help the other person relax.
Perhaps you have been chatting for a while so you do know lots about each other. So now you are meeting up, you need to ease the tension and break the ice. Sometimes the ice gets so thick that you can literally feel it. Break it up by cracking a joke or two.
But the joke should be spontaneous and in keeping with the situation or else it will fall flat. Do not rehearse a joke because a rehearsed joke sounds…well…rehearsed.
The key word here is charm. Use all the charm that you can muster. Try to be as considerate and as thoughtful as possible. Do not dominate the conversation but try to get the other person talking. People generally love to talk about themselves so try to get the other person talking by asking about the person’s work. Show interest in whatever the other person says.
Do your best to be a great conversationalist. A good conversationalist is not a person who talks well, but is one who listens well as well. So try to be a good listener. And while you are listening try not to get distracted by something else or the other person might feel that you are losing interest in what they are saying.
However, what can be done if you find the other person is trying to dominate or control the conversation?
If that happens, you need to listen patiently for a minute or two and then give a subtle sign like a raised eyebrow or a smile through the corner of your mouth. If the other person is smart enough, he or she will get the hint. If not then take control anyway. After all, you might have to listen to this person for the rest of your life!
Humour rarely fails. But again take care not to go over the top. There is only one thing worse than a total lack of humour and that is too much humour!
So work on your sense of humour and your charm will come naturally.
Good luck,
James Preece – The Dating Guru
James Preece is the UK’s top dating coach and is the only dating expert who actually works “hands on” in the dating industry.