Confidence is sexy. Confidence will get you dates. Confidence can be faked. Yes, I said faked. I wish I could give you actual dating confidence, but that comes from within. So, until you feel confident in yourself, I will teach you to fake it till you make it.
Fake #1- Your smile will change your dating confidence
Confident people smile broad easy smiles. The best way to fake this is to watch others and mimic them. Practice in the mirror until you believe the smile yourself. A good trick I have learned is to think of a joke that you find really funny; use this mental image to build your smile on. You will have to practice at this as fake smiles are tricky to pull off effectively. The brooding, sad teenage look went out in the 90s, so show your pearly whites!
Fake #2- Your posture
Your mom always told you not to slouch, and she was right, but you also need to look at ease with your surroundings. Lean back in your chair at dinner, cross your leg across your knee, use your hands while talking, these are all effective posturing techniques that make you seem at ease and comfortable. They also project confidence, because if you are confident you will be at ease.
Fake #3- Talk about things you know and love
This one is an easy fake. If you know a lot about something, it will be much easier to talk about it. Use that to your advantage. Are you into Game of Thrones? Bring up the books or show, if your date is unfamiliar, tell them about it. You will never be at a loss for words if you make a mental list of the things you enjoy and keep it in mind when the conversation begins to slow. You also will find it easy to speak with confidence about things you enjoy or know well.
Fake #4 – Listen to your date, and respond accordingly
People forget about this one frequently. Instead of constantly thinking of what you are going to say next, allow your mind to go blank and just listen to what the other person has to say. You will find dating confidence in this simple act. Hearing what your date is saying and simply responding appropriately is one of the primary acts of human communication that many of us fail at. Once you begin to do this effectively, you will see people opening up to you because it is obvious that you are actually listening to them.
Fake #5 – Never ever ever be rude
Confidence is good, rudeness is not. Remember that no matter what you do, someone out there is better than you at it. Sending out the vibe of cockiness is a complete turn off to most people. You always must keep in mind that no matter what a person does, they are probably proud of it on some level. Do not disregard that pride, because if you do, your chances of a second date a very slim.
Above all else, know that you are worthy of a great relationship. Spend time on yourself and build up your dating confidence. Focus internally on the things you are good at and work on the bad without beating yourself up. There is someone out there who will love you for you.
If you’d like some one to one confidence coaching then do get in touch today.
James Preece is a UK Dating Expert – the UK’s leading Dating Coach. He’s a matchmaker who can help you find your perfect match.