UK Relationship Expert: Should I use a selfie for Online Dating ?

Is it ever acceptable to use a selfie on your online dating profile?


We’ve all seen these photos and quite a lot of people are tempted to use them. These are the shots that you take of yourself using a cameraphone or sometimes a webcam. They are popular because they are easy and quick to do. So is it OK to use them when you are online dating?  After all, the sites often ask for a photo before you can even start searching for other singles.

The short answer to this dilemma is almost always a big resounding no.  Online dating sites aren’t the right place for low quality photographs, especially ones taken as a reflection in the bathroom mirror. They look cheap, unprofessional, tacky and quite often ridiculous. Even more importantly, they make you look like you don’t have any friends.  Oh and don’t even get me started on the topless men or pouting women. As a Dating Coach I see these sort of selfies each day and they are a terrible first impression.  Leave the selfies for the teenagers – you are an adult.

If you want to be taken seriously and make a real (positive) impact when you are online dating then you absolutely have to use high quality photographs. If you don’t you’ll be laughed and rejected. There’s just no excuse as if you have a camera or camera phone you can ask a friend, family member or colleague to take one for you.  You don’t even need to tell them what you are using it for, you can say it’s for LinkedIN or Facebook or whatever you feel comfortable with.

Having said that, there are sometimes exceptions to this rule. If you have lots of main photos, the odd self taken photo won’t do any harm. Just make sure there is a good reason for the photograph. Perhaps you are in an unusual place or doing a fun adventurous activity.  It’s fine in these cases but never as your primary profile photo. It’s the first thing anyone will ever see so use a friendly, smiling professional shot and you’ll get SO many more replies.

Good luck!

Take charge of your love life! James Preece is the Dating Guru – the UK’s leading Dating Coach and Dating Expert.  Visit his website here for more info about his dating coaching sessions and to buy his best selling online dating guide “I Will Make You Click.”