Dating for Single Mothers

I had an interesting email today from a single mum asking for some dating tips as she never seems to be able to hold down a guy!  So in today’s blog I’ll give some great dating advice to single mums 🙂

It’s never been easier for single mothers to start dating.  There are more opportunities than ever before. Once the kids are in bed, you can pop on the internet and chat away with thousands of potential men. However, there are several issues that you might need to deal with. Here are some top tips to help you on the way:

Being Honest about being a Parent

Being a parent is the best thing you can ever experience and you should always be very proud of it. Mention it straight away, whether it’s face to face or in your online dating profile.  It’s a great icebreaker as it gives you something to talk about. This also means that you will be able to quickly filter out men that aren’t interested.

Finding a Babysitter

It can sometimes be hard to arrange a babysitter, especially at short notice. This just means that you have to plan it carefully.  Make a deal with other single mothers who also want to go out dating and take it in turns to look after the kids.  Remember, you don’t always have to date in the evenings.  Instead, perhaps arrange coffee or lunch dates when your child is at school or in nursery.

Babysitters can also be a great way of ending a bad date.  Ask them to call you about an hour into your date to let you know that the kids are ok.  If you’ve had enough, then they can pretend there is a problem and you need to rush back.

When do you introduce them to your kids?

You won’t need to introduce them to every man you date and there is certainly no rush. Make sure that you are confident the relationship is going somewhere first.  It’s up to them to prove they are worthy of meeting your child and to earn your trust.

When you finally decide you want them to meet, plan it carefully.  Talk to your child, explain to them that you’ve got a new friend you’d love them to meet.  Have a date that includes the child, taking them both somewhere special.   If they are having fun then it’s going to be a lot easier for them to bond.

Dealing with your ex-partner

This can often be the hardest thing for a future partner to deal with.  There is usually an extra person in the relationship and it can make things difficult. If your ex-partner is still in contact with your child then they are also going to be wary about who you bring into their lives. It’s often the unknown that can create tension so the simplest way to put them both at ease is get them to meet up. Make sure you are there to break the ice, at least to begin with, and then give them a chance to get to know each other.

Putting your children before your partner

This can be a problem for insecure men.  A partner must realise that your child is always going to come first.  The love of a partner and love of a child are completely different  types of love,  and as such there should never be any competition for your affections.   Make as much time as you can for both of them and make them feel as loved and appreciated as you can.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru